The Letter
by BSBbaby506
Summary: Harry Potter hasn’t heard from his cousin Dudley since he graduated from Hogwarts ten years ago. So why does he receive a letter concerning his niece about an incident?


(A/N: Here is my second attempt at another one-chapter fanfic. I don't expect a lot of reviews, but still…it's fun to write! It's really about the little things that can cause us to remember the past, or the ironic lessons we learn when we least expect. Not dramatic, or scary, or action-packed. This story is just…here to better understand the canon. The humor, I think you'll find, is in the ending. ;) And as I always like to say; On with the story…!)  
  
Summary: Harry Potter hasn't heard from his cousin Dudley since he graduated from Hogwarts ten years ago. So why does he receive a letter concerning his niece about an incident?  
  
Genre: General/Humor. Future Fic set in 2008. AU, I suppose. H/G obviously.  
  
Disclaimer: Naturally I own nothing but the plot. I nicked the rest. ;)  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* The Letter *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Harry Potter hadn't seen his cousin, Dudley, since he had graduated from Hogwarts, and that was ten years ago. Yet, there could be no denying that the letter that had arrived in the mail the previous day was, in fact, from Dudley.   
  
Harry sat in his kitchen, his morning tea sitting dully to the side. His fingers drummed on the wooden table as he inspected the note yet again, a perplexed expression on his face. The business-like tone of the note has been snippy and discreet, as though Dudley were speaking in code about a top secret mission.   
  
The morning before…  
  
*Ding dong*  
  
The door bell rang at nearly 9:30 in the morning. After taking off her apron, Ginny strolled to the door, drying her hands on a dish cloth.   
  
'Must be one of the neighbors,' thought Ginny. They lived in a cozy, two stories, brick house in a small town some twenty miles outside London. And they were completely surrounded by Muggles. This wasn't a setback at all, however. It was just as easy to Apparate to Ron's, Hermione's, Moony's, the Burrow, anywhere really…as long as the curtains were closed tightly.   
  
And being as how any close friends or family Apparated or came by Floo powder, only the muggle neighbors would ring the door bell. Opening the door, however, revealed a man in a brown shorts uniform.   
  
"UPS with a letter, ma'am." said the man, handing her an envelope with 'FIRST CLASS DELIVERY: RUSH SHIPPING" stamped across it. Ginny took the letter, and the electronic notepad to sign her name.  
  
"G'morning, ma'am." The UPS man said, nodding as he left.   
  
Ginny looked at the envelope:  
  
Harry Potter  
  
Lady Margaret Road  
  
Sunningdale, Ascot, SL5 9  
  
Kentish Town  
  
There was no return address. Ginny, quite puzzled and eager to see who sent the letter, strode a few paces from the living room and called up the stairs.   
  
"Harry, there is a letter here for you," called Ginny.  
  
"From who?" Harry called back.  
  
"Doesn't say. Came by muggle-post, rushed delivery" she answered.  
  
Harry appeared at the top of the stairs. A comb was in his mouth, a tie loose around his neck. He was apparently struggling to fix the collar of his dress shirt. Harry descended down the steps, and took the letter curiously from Ginny.  
  
Harry opened the letter, and began reading. Ginny watched him inquisitively. Harry's eyes paused at several points of the letter, and he re-read it several times.  
  
"Who's it from?" asked Ginny finally.  
  
"My cousin, Dudley," answered Harry, looking up. "Something about his daughter."  
  
~~  
  
The sudden appearance of this letter from his cousin made Harry remember, though not fondly; of the day he left number 4 Privet Drive forever.  
  
10 years earlier…  
  
Having already gotten his Apparating license only weeks before, Harry was the only wizard to be found at Privet Drive in late June of 1998. Packing away all the old spell books, parchment, quills, photo's, his prized Firebolt that had been retired the previous year for fear of injury, and other feeble sentiments of Harry's past that he had left at Privet Drive during his final school year were packed neatly in a trunk. In hardly an hour, Harry was ready to leave this place forever.   
  
He tidied his room before he left. Hedwig, his new broomstick, and everything else that he had with him at Hogwarts had been taken to Moony's small house on the outskirts of Brighton, England. Harry was going to stay there for a short time while he and Ron searched for a Flat together. It seemed almost pathetic; Harry thought glumly looking around the room. He had spent ten of the first eleven years of his life in this house, well…in his cupboard anyway. And every summer since…  
  
Dudley was downstairs watching TV in the living room. Aunt Petunia and Uncle Vernon were in the kitchen. Aunt Petunia was preparing breakfast, while Uncle Vernon read the newspaper with distaste. Harry, feeling he might as well say goodbye no matter how useless it seemed, dragged his trunk down the steps to the kitchen.   
  
Peering in, his Aunt and Uncle pretended not to notice him.   
  
"Bye, Aunt Petunia," said Harry. She gave him a cold look, and turned away.  
  
"Good bye, Uncle Vernon," Harry said. *grunt*  
  
Harry glanced toward the living room, where his massive cousin sat watching the television with his piggy eyes. Harry decided not to say good-bye to him. As a matter of fact, Harry was filled with the sudden desire to do some simple spell that would likely scare the hell out of the Dursleys…but he decided against it. Taking his trunk firmly by both sides, there was a *pop* and Harry Potter left Privet Drive, never to return. Or so he thought.  
  
Not long after Harry graduated from his schooling as an Auror, and shortly thereafter proposed to Ginny, that dear old Mrs. Figg passed away. Quite coincidentally, Dudley married a woman much like Harry's Aunt Petunia; which was to say she was tall and bony. Though her face reminded Harry of a squirrel, if anything. Oh…Harry hadn't actually been invited to the wedding, but Ron had insisted on looking in on the ceremony. Poor woman. Never saw that gust of wind coming.   
  
As an expensive wedding gift, Harry's Aunt and Uncle had purchased the house months later, and Dudley and his wife moved in immediately. Dudley had a five year old daughter now who was quite large for her age and very dull witted. The type of girl that beat up the boys, and had a uni-brow.   
  
~~  
  
And so Harry found himself stepping off the muggle bus (he thought it would be wise to travel like a muggle) and walking towards old Mrs. Figg's house. Harry was strongly reminded of Privet Drive, which was only a few streets away. Its flower garden and budding tree in the front yard gave Harry a small chill.   
  
Harry knocked on the door, and heard scraping footsteps inside. The door peeked open, and standing there was a grown Dudley himself. Stout, beefy, and lacking a neck, Dudley had an uncanny resemblance to how Harry remembered his Uncle before age had ailed him. Though Dudley had a bushy blond goatee, instead of his father's mustache.   
  
"Well!" barked Dudley. Harry was having huge nostalgia.   
  
"Well, what?" asked Harry, cocking an eyebrow. He was in no mood to be pushed around be another domineering Dursley.  
  
"Well, did you get my letter?" snapped Dudley.  
  
"I got it," said Harry. "Or I wouldn't be here," he added, a slight sarcastic note to his voice.  
  
"Get in! Get in!" hissed Dudley, casting a cautious eye around the block for on-lookers. Harry had purposely worn his wizard robes.  
  
Harry swaggered into the hallway that he remembered to be infested with cats. There were, of course, no cats in this house. However, there was a certain odor…  
  
"Well?" poised Dudley again, crossly.  
  
"All you said was that there was an incident with your daughter," retorted Harry.  
  
Dudley reached for a piece of paper on the umbrella stand next to the door, and shoved it into Harry's chest. Harry took it, and read out loud:  
  
"Dear Mr. Dursley, We have reason to believe that on October 12th, your daughter was responsible for breaking the glass of a cage displaying several insects and disciplinary measures have been taken against…  
  
"So what?" Harry asked agitated that he had ridden a bus for 2 hours for this.   
  
"She was clear across the room," hissed Dudley through gritted teeth.   
  
A memory suddenly erupted in Harry's head when he was seven-years-old, and he had to take a letter home to the Dursleys explaining how he had apparently turned his teacher's wig blue.  
  
"You're not saying…" Harry said slowly.  
  
"She's up stairs in her room," snapped Dudley. "You go up there, and you squash whatever…whatever…abnormality she might have gotten from you!"  
  
"From me?!" exclaimed Harry, outraged. Dudley gave him a threatening look. Harry glowered, but turned and headed up the stairs to his niece's bedroom. When he got there, the door was ajar. Harry peered inside to see the girl, her curly blond hair in pig tails, tearing the heads off her Barbie dolls.  
  
"Marion," said Harry. "What you doing?" he asked, unsure how to approach her.  
  
"Tearing all the heads off the slaves so they can only get them back when they've done their crime!" she said enthusiastically. Harry took his wand out of his pocket.  
  
"Marion, I want you to give this wand a swoosh," he said handing it to it her. "DON'T…" Harry hissed, and then realizing he was talking to a five-year-old, lowered his voice, "break it".  
  
The girl, who looked like she had every intention of doing so, glared at him. Dudley was standing in the doorway, watching on. The girl held the wand up high, and brought it down swishing through the air.  
  
Green and gold sparks flew out of the end.  
  
~~  
  
"So what do you reckon?" Ron asked Harry, as they walked along Diagon Alley some time later.  
  
"What do I reckon about what?" Harry asked placidly.  
  
"What house do you think she'll be in?" Ron pressed eagerly.  
  
"Slytherin," Harry said without doubt.  
  
(A/N: Okay, not quite as humorous as I thought it would be. But you have to admit, it does bring a smile to your face. :D I hope you enjoyed this one-chapter story. No, there won't be any fanfic from me about Marion Dursley's adventures at Hogwarts. Though, it would be interesting from a Slytherin's point of view…oh, if I ever do that it will be about Snape…and the marauders making fun of him at Hogwarts. *dreamy look* Anyhoo…I hope you enjoyed this. And I hope to write more one-chapter stories! So go on…review! It can't hurt. :D *Kara* ) 


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